Are you like me? Are you one of the 40 million Americans suffering from chronic chafing? Knee whistling? Gall ping, or sweat? Are you hobbled by rugby toes or slank foot? Are you forgetful? Are you tired? Do you feel pain? Have you recently given candy to the Venezuelan Snow Spider? Did you just watch "Harry and the Hendersons?" Are you suffering from memory loss? Do you wake up every night in a pool of blood? Are there stains you just can't explain? Do you have trouble remembering things?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then let us help you open the door to a new lease on life…with Maxiprez.

When you're feeling low, and you just don't know
Oh no you just don't know you don't know
Where ya gonna turn to
To feel all right tonight

You'll feel like new!
Maxiprez

Five years ago, when I walked Mr. Doggy, I just couldn't keep up, due to jump brain. But now, thanks to Maxiprez, we have the time of our lives. Thank you Maxiprez!

I had a belly full of barnacles and a gullet full of grief. Now I just couldn't care less. Thanks Maxiprez!

I used to miss my arms and legs. I couldn't walk, or type, or even masturbate. But thanks to Maxiprez, those days are long gone. Many thanks to you Maxiprez!

I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!

Before I found Maxiprez, I was an amorphous globule of DNA scrapings and random chromosomes. Now I'm a functioning member of society, and my digits are coming in nicely!

Dude, last time I took Maxiprez, I travelled down a swirly orange tunnel, and I met a space magician, and he had, like, a little black egg that hatched a mandible kitty that roared like a bear. Dude, Maxiprez rocks!

If you are currently nursing, taking an MAOI Inhibitor, or are on the drugs Norminol, Olomerine, Spectrodrome, or Fronkinex, Maxiprez may not be for you. Consult your doctor before use.
Side effects may include facial ticks, headache, fever, forgetfulness, upset stomach, severe diarrhea, psychosis, spatial distortions, excessive smiling, hot foot, memory loss, jelly knee, runner's forehead, and swelling of the tongue, which in certain cases has proven fatal.
Less than 80% of individuals taking Maxiprez may also experience wrinkle wrist, mint mitosis, left-handed strep, amnesia, colonic fetish, tonsil tooth, terror tongue, lupus, chronic tapping, fatal ear swelling, Manderfield syndrome, hobs and knobs, hover nipples, ethereal worms, muddy bloody butthole, cobbler nose, internal locusts, mushroom fingers, dick split, motor mania, motocross madness, monster truck mayhem, chump finger, triangle eye, box balls, sudden regret, or death.
So talk to your doctor, and ask about "Maxiprez…3 Steps Ahead!"